this is me now

best line last night...

2008-08-24T14:11:00.000-07:00

"i had the BIGGEST crush on your husband!"

i survived my husband's 20-year high school reunion, and it was fun to hear stories about him "back in the day."

met some really cool people, and i even networked a bit, oddly enough. (the opportunities kept presenting, so i took them.)

mike starts his new job tomorrow, and i feel like summer is ending and it's time for back to school, because we've pretty much been goofing off for the past two weeks he's been "unemployed".

our trip to Mendocino was nice (great food, nice stay), and i'm already looking forward to the next time we can get away (might be a looong time from now, though, as the new job will take priority over everything else for a while).

ah well, give sme more time to work, watch the new fall shows, read and exercise--not necessarily in that order!

holy frick i'm tired!

2008-08-10T13:30:00.000-07:00

the last few weeks have done worn me out. mendocino was fun, for sure (food! greta!), but i am now suffering from a post-vacation cold-type thing. ugh!

oh, and did i forget to mention that i am now in charge of planning my 20-year high school reunion? ironic that the geeky wallflower is now in control. mwah ha ha...

pimpin' some link love

2008-08-05T15:41:00.001-07:00

the blogging gigs are drying out, so stop by and help me out by clicking ad links, posting comments, and, GASP, even linking to them from your own blog(s). seriously, every little bit helps!

http://thatdogblog.com/
http://dailyeatsonline.com/

health issues

2008-07-25T09:17:00.000-07:00

this recent post by one of my fav bloggers, so NOT cool, got me thinking about the shit hand some people are dealt healthwise.

up until eight years ago, i was one of those people who exercise, eat right, don't drink or smoke. then i got diagnosed with breast cancer when i was, literally, in the best shape of my life.

first there were surgeries. one breast gone. then six months of hell (chemo). then a month and a half of radiation. then elective surgery to remove other breast and ovaries.

then came osteopenia, followed by osteoporosis. and migraines. and back pain. and three herniated discs in my back. and broken bones. and injury upon injury upon injury.

i am currently still recovering from being knocked down at the dog park last year, which resulted in a knee the size of a small watermelon, whiplash and a concussion. my back went out earlier this month, and i am slowly gaining mobility again.

i've given up on running anymore, and biking doesn't look too promising either. i used to swim a mile every day, but this summer, between injuries and the bad air quality where i live, i haven't been able to swim nearly enough.

injuries + menopause has resulted in a weight gain, which i'm very unhappy about. in the past, i'd always been a bit underweight, so this is new, unpleasant territory for me.

while the thought of ever going back to work in an office makes me want to jump of the nearest tall building, the more my body speaks its mind, the more i think i won't be able to even if i ever wanted to again.

i can't sit for more than an hour straight without having to get up, move around and loosen my back. i need to roll my back five times a day, at least, followed by stretching and ice for 20 mins.
the arm i broke a few years ago still aches, and i need to take typing breaks to let it rest. and i get migraines if i stare at the computer screen for too long.

in short, i'm a mess. a mess that will most likely never be able to work a traditional full time job again. for now, i'm still able to freelance and earn a small, teeny, tiny income. but if it weren't for my husband, i would most likely be homeless and definitely be without health insurance.

it's official!

2008-07-24T12:13:00.001-07:00

mike accepted a job offer with a bigger (i.e. more secure, stable, BETTER) company! woo hoo!

better bennies, better pay, better commute, too.

yay for him (and me). :)

stay tuned

2008-07-23T09:02:00.000-07:00

big announcement coming tomorrow!

the rollercoaster that is july

2008-07-22T07:57:00.000-07:00

this month has been insane around here.

i went from famine to feast as far as work goes, and while i know i should be happy about that, it makes for stress, and me no like stress.

we're taking two mini vacations soon...one to bodega bay, where we (mike, me, his brothers and their others) have rented a house to celebrate my m-i-l's 80th b-day. then, about a week later, mike, greta and i are headed to mendocino to celebrate mike's 38th b-day.

i've been working like crazy on a huge project due at the end of this month, as well as all of my regular stuff, and trying to get ahead so i don't have to take any work with me on either vaca.

to add to the craziness, mike has been doing some exciting things that i will soon be able to reveal...exciting, but definitely added stress over the past two months.

whack

2008-07-14T12:29:00.000-07:00

my back is whack. yesterday whilst washing dishes (i know, never, ever wash dishes, i tell ya!), it felt like my back broke. it's out, and although my chiropractor is taking wonderful care of me, i think i may have to put swimming on the shelf for a while. it was already gathering dust due to my shoulder problems and the air quality, and now this.

i already gave up running and biking, but i'm holding out for swimming. please....

the view from inside

2008-07-10T15:25:00.000-07:00

the smoke-filled air is grey and gloomy
if i pretend not to notice the green trees, plants and grass
if i pretend i'm not wearing a tank top, shorts and flip flops
if i ignore the constant whir of the air conditioner
i can almost pretend it's fall or winter

i never thought i'd miss winter, but this summer has been crap, so miss it i do!

Hopkins

2008-07-09T07:59:00.000-07:00

what do you get when you take the best of grey's anatomy and er?

you get this show, which is almost as addictive as crack is (this in NOT based on first-hand knowledge, however!).

i had three eps of hopkins on my dvr, and i finally got caught up last night.

as i was watching, mike wandered in and sat down, and soon he was just as addicted as i was.

this show will make you happy and sad, and have you cheering for the docs and their patients.

you might even shed a tear (mike did!).

reunion dress

2008-07-08T13:29:00.000-07:00

i finally found a dress to wear to mike's 20-year high school reunion in august. and when i say finally, i mean i had to actually leave the house (the heat! the smoke!) and venture over to arden fair mall (ugh!) to visit nordstrom, my favorite store.

i almost had a panic attack when i beelined straight for the dress section and instead found myself surrounded by blouses. i walked all around, went upstairs, back down, and finally asked. turns out the dress section was moved (and downsized QUITE a bit).

last summer when i went shopping in search of a dress to wear to an outdoor, sweltering wedding, i went to nordy's and tried on about 50 (no kidding) dresses and found many that were viable options.

this time, not so much. maybe 20 to try on, and, of course, the last one is the one i walked out with. i figure it will go a long way (with strappy sandals at the reunion, with black tights and boots this winter, with tights and sandals come spring).

now if only i could get my hair to do that...

crapitty crap

2008-06-24T09:13:00.000-07:00

this economy is a killer. i'm scrounging for work, and i can tell my clients are feeling it too, because the checks are coming later and later, and the work is less and far between.

at least i still have some work--please, i beg of anyone who stumbles across this little blog, go to these sites, click around (on ads, links, sponsors, etc.) and post a comment or two. it will help keep me and my two cats and dog (and husband) from starving!

http://thatdogblog.com/
http://dailyeatsonline.com/
http://80sfilms.today.com/

like it was yesterday

2008-06-10T13:29:00.000-07:00

it seems appropriate that as my husband's 20-year high school reunion is this summer, and mine will be next year, i finally got around to reading prep. i haven't been much of a fiction readers for a few years now, but i am so glad i decided to plow through some fiction, and more importantly, that i started with prep.

last night, and i got in bed and prepared to savor more of the novel, and exclaimed for the umpteenth time, "i LOVE this book!" mike asked, "do you think i would like it?" i thought for a minute. "i'm not sure...but if you want to know what i was like in high school, you should read it."

seriously, there were times that i felt such a kinship with the main character that, when she was embarrassed, i had to cringe. it's as if the author, curtis sittenfeld, crawled inside my head and plucked my (teen) thoughts out.

prep is raw with honesty, and i often found myself laughing and crying as it made me reflect on my own experiences, and finally put my old insecurities to rest.

plans

2008-05-30T10:53:00.000-07:00

after a slightly hectic spring, i'm looking forward to the repitition of summer.

get up. walk dog. eat breakfast. do work. swim. netflix. shower. rinse. repeat.

yes, work has slowed, but for now that's ok. (until my husband's next panic attack, that is.)

my to-do list this summer includes more day trips, with or without the husband, but definitey with the hound. more reading. more music (pandora, i love ya!). more exercise. more fruits & veggies. on the flip side, less tv, less stress, less processed crap, and less meat.

i've also been blogging here, here and here, so stop by and say hi!

two-fer

2008-04-22T13:24:00.000-07:00

tonight this in davis, saturday this in oakland. i will be tired but happy next week!

eyes are the first to go

2008-04-18T14:02:00.000-07:00

i had my vision check yesterday (it's been eight years and three jobs since then), and it turns out that i need new specs. or rather, i need to wear the glasses that i own, but i also have a slightly different prescription now, so in essence i need a whole new set of glasses.

i could have kept my old frames, but i got them a few years ago, and although they are cute, i was extremely skinny then. now the glasses look like what they are (children's frames) on my face.

so i had to pick out new ones.

i must have tried on at least 50 pairs of frames (i am so not kidding) and finally it came down to three.

one pair (green) was a little too plain; one pair was the perfect shape, but had god-awful "bling" on the sides of the frames; and the pair i settled on are funky yet understated (is there such a thing?).

check 'em out.

and i'd like to say for the record that j lo has no business making eyewear.

estranged

2008-04-15T10:24:00.001-07:00

it's a really weird thing to be estranged from my mother, but i usually don't think about it too much--except one day each year.

i wonder...does she think about me today? probably, but only to curse about me, i'm sure.

in her eyes, i'm the world's worst daughter, but in my eyes, she was never my mother to begin with.

giving birth and being a mother are two entirely different things, and she did one but never really even tried to do the other.

treating your daughter like a barbie doll doesn't really count as mothering. neither does hitting her with a hairbrush just because she tried to talk to you while you were on the phone. or drinking and then letting your new husband "play" with your eldest daughter while the youngest (me) watched. ah, youth.

just some of the (many) reasons i don't talk to my mother...

36 today...

2008-04-14T16:57:00.000-07:00

37 tomorrow!

great film

2008-04-08T12:52:00.000-07:00

find a way to see this movie! i am crushing so on the three guys behind the film, who are, of course, so young i feel dirty just writing this.

two more for your blog roll

2008-03-20T13:14:00.000-07:00

check me out here and here.

visit often, post comments! i'd love to hear from you.

check it out!

2008-03-12T13:08:00.000-07:00

i'm blogging here and will be here very, very soon! pop on over, and be sure to come back often!

this is basically the evolution of the column i used to write for inside the city, just in blog form and, if i do say so myself, much more fun!

next stop, concert land

2008-03-05T16:35:00.000-08:00

it seems that april is going to be a busy concert-going month in our house, as we are not only going to see the swell season (YAY!), but also death cab for cutie in davis.

of course, if we lived near here we'd probably be going to concerts every week, as all the good bands seem to go directly from the bay area to portland. unless they stop in davis, first.

the tipping point

2008-02-29T09:34:00.001-08:00

i'm a bit better, but not all the way healthy, which is frustrating. i feel like i could go either way right now--one day wake up and feel fine, or wake up with no voice again.

one thing getting me through is my (early) b-day present, that, when it occurs, will actually be belated. we are going to see the swell season--those kids who won an oscar the other night for best song from a movie. (that movie, once, is hands down the best one i've seen in ages.)

they are playing in oakland, which is a little better than sf as far as driving and traffic. and it's on a saturday, which is great.

that's a pretty good way to celebrate 37, if you ask me.

so sick

2008-02-20T12:21:00.000-08:00

that's me right now.

and, as usual, my allergy to ibuprofen complicates things. i took alka seltzer and had an allergic reaction (it has aspirin, which i am also apparently allergic to). i guess ibuprofen and aspirin allergies go hand in hand, a little tidbit i did not know.

i am now taking mucinex, which is amazing, save for the fact that as soon as i started taking it (last night) i lost my voice almost entirely. coincidence?

i do feel better, but i sound horrible. which also makes interviewing people over the phone, the backbone of what i do for a living, impossible right now.

luckily, i am still able to blog for my new client, and he is really the only one whose work i am doing right now. i have put off two huge projects until i feel at least a little bit better, and took a week off of my biggest client (he was cool about it) to get better.

all i know is, by friday i'm headed to the doctor if i'm not a lot better.

work, work, work

2008-02-14T14:24:00.000-08:00

in true freelance fashion (that being feast or famine), i am swamped. yet, i am still obsessively looking for more work (more! more! more!) because i know this cannot last forever.

and, as usually happens when i am work-stressed, my neck is killing me and i have a slight cold, which may or may not put a damper on any valentine's day festivities.

we're staying in tonight anyway--decided to go out tomorrow night to our fav place for dinner and to sf on saturday to see wee little finley.

we also recently celebrated our 13-year anniversary of the night we met. of course, it slipped by us and we remember it a few days later. oops!

too good to be true?

2008-02-08T13:32:00.000-08:00

i have high hopes for my new client, for whom i will be reviewing movies and writing entertainment bits for his website (link coming soon, i promise!).

i'll be getting a monthly stipend that's actually pretty nice, considering all the work involved.

keep fingers crossed that this one won't dry up like all the others!

me show the money

2008-02-04T07:38:00.000-08:00

this weekend was quite profitable, with the receipt on friday of the full amount from the defendant re: small claims court, and the receipt on saturday of full payment for a story for a (now defunct) magazine that never saw the light of day.

wish every weekend could be like this!

fraud

2008-01-29T09:42:00.000-08:00

apparently my credit card was stolen (not physically, but the number?) in the past few days, and the perpetrator has been making nominal paypal purchases. well, the first was nominal, but the two pending purchases--well, who knows? luckily, i caught it quickly and the investigation is underway. thank goodness for the fdic. and my anal retentiveness about balancing the check book on a daily basis.

even keel

2008-01-28T14:20:00.000-08:00

things have settled down lately, and i'm thankful for the lull.

a small, steady stream of work is flowing, and that has helped keep me (not too) busy.

the noticable change in greta, no longer quite the pup she was, is nice, too. we take long walks, weather and knee pain (mine) permitting, and although she is very bonded to me, she manages to sleep on the couch for hours while i "work" (surf the net, watch tv & movies, etc.).

mike has also improved (i do believe the meltdown a while ago was an anomoly, but if not, we will be headed for therapy, believe you me).

no more stress about money (no, we're not making any more than before, but the pressure is off to make! make! make! more! more! more!). in fact, he's swung in the other direction, and since we have a cushion in our bank account right now, he wants to spend! spend! spend!

i just shake my head...

i stopped here this morning after a hot drink with storygoil here, and there are three perfect little cupcakes waiting to be gobbled up later--vanilla/vanilla, red velvet and carrot. two of them are for mike--maybe.

couch potato

2008-01-25T10:55:00.000-08:00

why are there some movies, not necessarily good ones, that cause me to sit down and rewatch, no matter how many times i've seen them before? why?

the skeleton key
the replacements (keanu--'nuf said!)
dawn of the dead (the remake)
never been kissed
the grudge
wolf creek
the hills have eyes (the remake)
plus, basically any other scary film (crappy or otherwise) that i've seen before

is it just me?

the evolution of a freelance writer

2008-01-23T07:47:00.001-08:00

while i could take time to gloat over the fact that i won my small claims court case, i still have to collect the money, so instead i've been thinking lately about all the jobs/careers i have had.

babysitter
retail sales
video store clerk
vet receptionist
house cleaner
ortho receptionist
camp counselor
library assistant
restaurant cashier
camp counselor
day care worker
restaurant cashier/bar server
insurance transcriber
ski lift operator
restaurant server
bank teller
accounting assistant
marketing assistant
copywriter
marketing manager
communications specialist
writer/researcher
freelance writer

that list wouldn't be so bad, except that most of those jobs were in a 10-year period. i put the hop in job hopper.

the day to day struggle

2008-01-10T13:13:00.000-08:00

the ebb and flow of work is always on my mind these days.

i just got a gig here giving advice to teens, which will put my psychology degree to good use (finally!). that's not to say that particular degree doesn't come in handy many times--pretty much every damn day--but still. i'm also going to be writing about etiquette for a new start-up mag, which will hopefully do very well, but will at the very least give me a forum to be my usual sarcastic self.

neither one pays very much, but there flip side is that both jobs require more of "me" than any of my other writing. i can be myself. and that is, of course, priceless!

per usual, it's two small steps forward and one giant step back around here.

greta threw up yesterday morning, then ate barely anything for the rest of the day. the poor thing's stomach was rumbling and growling so much last night that both mike and i could not sleep. and this morning, she had no interest in food. so, of to the vet we went. $250 later, she seems to be fine, just a bout of upset tummy. which is good, because it could always be much, much worse.

alas, the credit card bill keeps racking up, and the money only trickles in slowly.

he must have resolved to mellow out

2008-01-09T12:42:00.000-08:00

last night, after taking greta outside to pee, a trip that entailed my bundling myself and her up to protect against what i think is the coldest winter in the history of sacramento, and certainly the coldest winter i've had here, i neglected to wipe her feet before she hit the carpet. which left little wet footprints everywhere.

instead of his usual overreacting to it, mike was really nice and said, "that's ok. you're doing a really good job with her."

either he sensed that one more overreaction from him would send me into a tizzy from which i would not recover, or he finally realized that it's just a freaking carpet and it can, in fact, be cleaned. and if it's stained, so the fuck what? it's carpet. it's not the end of the world.

either way, i'm glad he's seeing the bigger picture. because i was beginning to think i married that guy in sleeping with the enemy. and we all know how that turned out.

new

2008-01-01T15:03:00.001-08:00

clean slate

this year:
only do what i can do
don't worry about what i can't control
be present in the moment
laugh

goals:
learn who i am and accept it/me
ask for help when needed
let go of the past

resolutions:
read more
clean greta's teeth every day
stop paying for what i can do myself

nye 2007

2007-12-31T16:36:00.000-08:00

moxie (the restaurant, not our cat!) for dinner. co-op cheesecake for after. happy new year!

blah humbug

2007-12-28T13:31:00.000-08:00

christmas was awful. i ate chinese food by myself. maybe it was a glimpse of a future christmas? i don't know, but whatever it was, it sucked.

mike and his mom went to see THE BABY. it's all about THE BABY. or really, it's all about mike's mom and her wanting to see THE BABY every chance she gets, so long as it involves my husband carting her around. i think he was a chauffeur in another life.

no, i still have not seen THE BABY. i probably never will, at this rate. because even if we could sneak away for a day without my m-i-l, there's still the d-o-g to deal with. which is why i stayed home in the first place. because to board her costs $, and to ask friends to watch her is a recipe for disaster. or a good way to lose friends.

i did go over to the cousins' house for what was supposed to be christmas dinner, but turned out to be me watching all of my other in-laws exchange gifts for two hours while i sat there with a smile plastered on my face and then excused myself and went home, because we still had not eaten and i was about to start eating my arm. i feigned a headache and headed home. and wished i had just stayed home to begin with.

i have my hopes pinned on nye, when we are going to dinner at moxie, to salvage what would otherwise go down on record as one of the worst holidays i've had since i've been married. well, besides 2001, when i was diagnosed with cancer the day after christmas. that was the worst one ever in the history of christmas.

once

2007-12-21T11:03:00.001-08:00

quite possibly the best film ever, and definitely the best of 2007.

and yes, the soundtrack will be mine before the weekend's over.

too bad it's bound to take years before it's made into a broadway show and then makes its way to my home town. but rest assured, i will be waiting patiently.

there's a pill for that

2007-12-16T13:47:00.000-08:00

overheard at the gym yesterday morning:

"i realized i have been suffering from depression for years. now that's i'm taking anti-depressants, i feel so much better."

"so how do they make you feel?"

"you know that feeling when you get out of bed for work in the morning and you just don't want to move? like you'd rather die than get up and get going? like you're walking through quicksand? it helps with that. it helps me move...and it makes it so i don't want to kill my co-workers."

thank you for being a friend

2007-12-14T14:53:00.001-08:00

what a difference a week makes. add to that some great conversations with friends, and i now feel like things are on the mend.

it's nice to know that i'm not the only one with marriage issues, but i do wish it wasn't such a taboo topic. it seems like everyone's been through it (some more than once), yet not many people openly talk about it.

luckily, two of my friends did share with me, which has helped me tremendously.

that, and 20 mg of prozac! and i know i'm in good company there.

thaw

2007-12-08T13:11:00.000-08:00

the sun is bright outside my window, and i feel my heart thawing a bit. after a long heart to heart conversation last night, all is not lost. there is hope, and that i will cling to.

a storm is brewing

2007-12-06T11:21:00.000-08:00

yesterday was a dark, ugly day. i still feel sick about it. literally. throw-up sick. i even felt something break inside, and i think it might have been my heart. just a little crack. a hairline fracture. between being laughed at about how much i weigh and told i need to get a "real" job, i am now waiting for the 7-year-itch shoe to drop. and something inside me has shifted slightly--contents will shift under pressure. and lord knows, i've been under it lately.

dads are the greatest

2007-12-05T16:25:00.000-08:00

who doesn't love a dad who says: "well, why doesn't he make more money?"

glass

2007-12-05T05:51:00.000-08:00

i wish i was a turtle. then i could just curl up in my tough outer shell for a while.

god, if i feel this awful on prozac, how would i be feeling off of it?

i know things could always be worse, because they have been (hello, cancer!). but why can't my significant other see that? instead of focusing on money and income and not happiness and health?

i mean, if i went to work full time, i'd still only be making slightly more than what i'm making freelancing less than full time. and i'd be miserable to boot. is it really worth it?

while i'm trying to see the glass half full about the situation, he's seeing the glass half empty. meanwhile, i think there was just an earthquake and the glass is in shards on the floor...

in other news...

2007-11-26T10:09:00.001-08:00

our living room dvr died--the one with all the good shows i was stockpiling due to the writer's strike. also the one with all the weeds on it. damn technology.

the (high) cost of living

2007-11-26T08:49:00.000-08:00

this is where i rant and rave about how much we've been spending and how little money is coming in...

first, moxie had to go to the vet a couple of weeks ago for an unscheduled emergency (an oxymoron, i know). that cost $150 that we weren't expecting, with a follow-up appointment this week that will probably be at least $50.

then, two days ago (saturday), we had to have a plumber come out to fix a mysterious clog (he blamed a diaper?!?! uh, sorry dude, not likely--although the previous owners did have a baby, so who knows?). that cost $300, that, again, we weren't expecting.

good thing i already bought our x-mas gift to each other (the whole friends series on dvd!) or else we probably would have been practical and decided to forgo gifts altogether this year.

as it is, that's the only thing we're buying, and there will be no gifts for friends, family, hairdressers, massage therapists, etc., this year.

this is me on drugs

2007-11-20T10:08:00.000-08:00

i started the prozac immediately upon arrival in my hot(flash), sweaty little hands on friday afternoon.

i know they're not supposed to kick in for weeks, but i swear i already feel better.

of course, that could also have to do with the fact that last week was the week from hell, in which all things went south and chaos was the norm, and this week, in comparison, is full of lull, but whatever.

i feel better, and that's what matters.

of course, all the drugs in the worold won't help me on thursday.

i'm going on record--i don't like holidays. well, the holidays are fine, but it's the long, drawn-out days full of chit chat that i don't much care for.

since we never did have a baby, which would give me that built-in "he/she needs to go home and take a nap" excuse to flee, i use greta. as in "she's been in her crate for two hours and i need to go home and let her out."

which is true, but also works to get me out of those long, drawn-out family holiday feasts.

then i come home to hungry animals demaning to be fed, walked, played with and whatever else they've decided they need at the moment.

so maybe it's not being alone that i crave, but rather not having to answer a bunch of questions and make small talk.

either way, and no matter when i leave, mike gets home hours later. and i'm always glad i left when i did, because i'm snug in bed with two warm cats and a sleeping dog nearby, reading and watching tv and dozing, which really is the perfect way to spend a holiday!

when it rains...

2007-11-14T08:13:00.000-08:00

yesterday was hectic and exhausting.

dentist in the a.m., followed by vet appt. for greta to get tested for heartworm (which she doesn't have, thank god!), then work, work, work (two new clients this week--it's either feast or famine, and i'm currently feasting!), then the gym in the afternoon, followed by the delivery of our new high-efficient washing machine, which is so beautiful it makes me wish our laundry was in the house and not the garage (although if it was in the hosue we would have had severe damage from the water leakage, so it's really much better where it is).

today, moxie started with a pee pee dance in and out of the cat box. we simply can not afford an emergency visit to the vet, so she's patiently waiting until 9 am for her appt. and in the meantime, i woke up, dealt with her, then started up the computer and, of course, comcast was down. so i called them. they couldn't fix it via phone (they never can) so they set up an appt. for me for later this morning. then it came up and now it's working fine. but i'm keeping the appt. because this keeps happening periodically and it's DRIVING ME CRAZY.

next year, my goal is to get away from comcast--for internet and cable tv, because they both suck. but right now, i've got too much going on and not enough time to handle what i've got. we're so broke i can't even afford to go see a therapist to deal with my probs, which are mounting.

luckily, prozac is on the way (from my doc), which should help--i hope!!! between my menopausal hot flashes and mood swings, i'm about ready to explode.

sleep

2007-11-12T08:07:00.001-08:00

i wish
i could sleep
like my dog

she yips
and yowls
barks
and growls

she dances
and prances
runs
and plays

always waking
refreshed
ready
for the day

things that happen when you go off your meds

2007-11-11T13:03:00.000-08:00

our vacation was terrible. awful, even. let's just say one cranky husband + his mother does not make for a fabulous, relaxing trip.

since we've been back, i've been cranking out work to meet two deadlines for NEW clients. fingers crossed that they will turn into regulars, as i have been writing about animals (greta in particluar) and LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

but the past two days have been bad. like, i need my anti-depressants back back--hives be damned.

first of all, i had another six-month oncology appt. in which i learned what i already knew. i have been gaining weight. 20 pounds in two years, to be exact. i can blame menopause and anti-depressants only so much for that, the rest has to do with injuries, laziness and i-feel-bad-about-myself eating.

then, when discussing my appt. with my husband and mentioning my weight gain, he asked how much i weigh.

i try not to lie to him, being that he's my best friend and lover, blah, blah, blah, so i told him.

his reaction--"wow!" followed by my face falling while he tried to hide a smile. it was so bad i started to cry, although admittedly these days i can cry at the drop of a hat.

and today was the capper.

a few weeks ago he broke part of my office chair (one of the arms). he "fixed' it with glue, and it was holding ok.

today he broke it completely. like, exploding chair, back of the chair dangling off broke it. then he announced that "we" need to call the company that makes the chair and "we" need to get a replacement part.

frankly, i'd rather buy a new one, but "we" can't afford to right now.

but that's beside the point, because HE broke my chair, and he should be the one to fix it, replace a part, call a company, whatever.

right?

the flip side

2007-10-30T15:34:00.000-07:00

have work, but sucky clients. didn't i stop working in an office so i didn't have to deal with pains in the ass? apparently not.

work

2007-10-22T17:00:00.000-07:00

i need it. badly. even boring stuff would be good right now. i can not go back to an office!

almost made up for yesterday

2007-10-14T12:44:00.001-07:00

went here this morning because i had a craving for pork bao.

they were delish and i will definitely be back again--probably for the dozen that i will *try* to conserve in the freezer.

royal mess

2007-10-14T12:33:00.000-07:00

yesterday was not a good day.

woke up still sick, and hives galore. i had only one craving--fresh, hot soup.

la bou had butternut squash, and i was all set. dropped mike off at his mom's for the football game (which i was too sick to attend, and thank goodness i didn't because not only did mike say it was terribly hot in the stands, but also he was gone from 11:30 a.m.--8 p.m.).

headed to la bou. waited far too long for the container of soup, and as i was trying to get my car door open, dropped said soup, where it splashed all over the ground next to my car.

maybe it's because i'm off the effexor, but i called mike, and while sobbing tried to tell him what had happened. (did i mention that i hate talking on cell phones?) the connection was so bad, he later said all he heard on his end was "soup...dropped...ok."

still in search of soup, but refusing to pay another $6 at la bou, i headed to nugget for chicken noodle. (probably a better choice anyway, in hindsight.)

the rest of the day was spent in a drug fog, because of the g.d. benadryl, which when taken in the morning apparently hits me differently than at night?!?!

i was zonked. so zonked, in fact, that when coming in from outside i tripped and somehow the bridge of my nose and the sliding glass door track met.

end result=two gashes across the bridge of my nose and one black eye. humiliation=priceless.

i guess it's a good thing i didn't require stitches, because this time i think kaiser would be hard pressed not to think i'm being beaten at home.

first a broken arm one year.
then a broken leg the next year.
then the next year a black eye and cut nose.

and for the record, no, mike has never laid a hand on me. if he did, he's be missing one ball sack.

well that sucks

2007-10-10T11:00:00.000-07:00

i read somewhere (magazine? blog? i don't know...) that some chefs say they hate to go out to eat because the food/service/experience is never as good as what they could have at home.

i'm a far cry from a chef (although i am THE CHEF at my house--if i did not cook, we would not eat), i'm starting to feel the same way.

case in point:

my meal at il forniao was not only disappointing, but downright blah. the chicken pieces were fatty and all dark meat, and the pasta was overcooked and mushy. i expect more from them.

no, i did not bring it to our server's attention, nor did we skimp on the tip. but i doubt we'll be going back there again.

which brings me to the best restaurant in sacarmento--bali wine bar & grill.

over our disappointing dinner, mike and i were talking about the fact that at bali, the food is always good. the only thing that changes is the heat/intensity of the food.

sometimes it's so spicy it makes your eyes water, sometimes not, but either way it's ALWAYS good. which is why we're headed there monday night for our anniversary.

the big 5

2007-10-08T12:13:00.001-07:00

five years! woo hoo!

celebrating, farmer style

2007-10-07T12:47:00.000-07:00

october is a month full of anniversaries around our house.

one year ago today we got greta.

five years ago tomorrow i finished cancer treatments (for good--knock on wood!).

and on the 15th we celebrate our 7 year wedding anniversary.

all very exciting stuff.

tomorrow night we're going to il forniao for my cancer anniversary so I can have my fav dish there--Conchiglie al Pollo. yum!

and next monday night we're either going to bali (my favorite resraurant, esp since moxie disappointed me last time we were there) or simons (since when we went to ma jong's last week it sucked, and i still crave chinese food--but good chinese food).

i may even be able to enjoy myself, now that i can breathe again and am finally starting to feel better. my hives are still pretty bad, but they're not on my face/neck, so as long as i wear long sleeves and pants, i'm good to go.

mike already gave me my cancer anniversary gift, this amazing necklace that i love and am wearing right now.

and for our wedding anniversary, we decided to go scent shopping for each other, with me choosing a cologne for mike (one that he likes, too, so he'll actually wear it!) and him choosing a perfume for me (one that i approve, since so many perfumes make me queasy). the rule is that we can only wear them for each other, on date night, etc.

we were supposed to do this fun shopping trip (to the best store in sacramento) yesterday, but since i still felt like crud and couldn't smell, we had to postone.

it may in fact have to wait until after our anniversary, because next saturday afternoon we will be at the uc davis/cal poly football game in davis cheering for cal poly, where mike went many, many years ago and where his neice nicole now goes (and is a cheerleader! as a freshman!).

it's been a long time since i've been to a college football game, and i have to say i'm looking forward to it. seeing nic will also be fun, and then we'll be seeing her again in a few weeks when we roll through slo on the way to san diego.

now if i can just get back to being well again, i'll be ready for all this activity.

why is that not on the label?

2007-10-05T09:36:00.001-07:00

apparently both nyquil and dayquil have similar properties to motrin, to which i am deathly allergic.

on wednesday night, while i was rummaging in the medicine closet and came across nyquil and mike innocently suggested, "you should take that so you can get some sleep tonight," i thought, that's a great idea, so i did.

(in hindsight, the suggestion was probably more so HE could get some sleep, as i have apparently spent the last few nights of sick and itchy kicking him in my sleep.)

i took the nyquil, and yesterday morning awoke to marge. so i took some dayquil, thinking that would help both the hives and the sick that will, apparently, never go away.

then i emailed my allergist to tell him of my woes, and when he got back to me, he informed me of the nyquil/dayquil/motrin phenomenon. at least i did mention that i have an epi pen, and i'm not afraid to use it.

so last night i switched to something that, hopefully, won't kill me--benadryl.

this stuff usually knocks me on my ass, which is why i try to stay away from it. but last night, i wanted to sleep so badly that i took two. which did not kick in. for hours. i took them at 6 p.m. when mike got home, and i headed for bed, hoping to fall into a deep, healthful sleep. at 830, i was still wide awake--and miserable.

obviously, i did fall asleep, because i awoke at 7 this morning, itchy as all get out, but no swollen lip.

baby steps.

worse is worse

2007-10-04T12:27:00.000-07:00

i woke up this morning to a frightful sight--marge simpson staring back at me in the mirror.

yep, that's exactly how my upper lip looks.

i'm more itchy, more sick, and more cranky than yesterday.

maybe i'm now allergic to my allergy medicine? i do have my epi pen handy, in case it gets any worse...

cold + hives = ugh!

2007-10-03T11:39:00.001-07:00

i am so sick. and tired. and itchy. the hives seem to thrive on the cold i have (not to be confused with the temperature, although they thrive on that as well), and are multiplying every second. i will soon be one walking hive.

at least maybe i can be in the guiness book of world records, then, right?

bye bye hives, hello hot flashes

2007-09-27T13:49:00.000-07:00

in an odd twist of fate (take note, winecat!) i have to wean myself off of effexor because the allergist thinks that's the root of my skin issues.

it's not ringworm, which, as i said before, would be easy to treat, but would have made this weekends' baby shower a bit awkward, as i would have felt compelled to saran wrap myself.

after a looooong conversation with said allergist, as well as a "cold" test and a "scratch" test, he made me list all the pills i pop on a daily/weekly basis:

effexor, daily
fosamax, weekly
multi-vitamin, daily
lycopene, daily
cinnamon, 2 caps 2xday
turmeric, 2xday
ginger, 2 caps 2xday
astaxanthin, daily
chromium picolinate, 2 caps 2xday
chewable calcium + d, 2 tabs 2xday

everything except the effexor has been added post treatment, and the effexor is the only thing i was on during chemo and ever since.

so the doc's theory is that something about the effexor is making me more prone to hives from the cold, and that without the effexor in my system, my skin will settle down.

or maybe it's just that without the effexor i'll have so many damn hot flashes i'll never get hives.

the rives

2007-09-26T08:55:00.000-07:00

after spending much of yesterday researching hives on the internet, i came to the disgusting conclusion that i may in fact have ringworm. or some sort of ringworm/hive hybrid.

maybe it will be some new thing never seen before and it will be named after me or i will be able to name it (rive?), and one day when someone else gets it, they will say, "damn! i've got a case of the rives."

in any event, i will hopefully find out today, as my oncologist got me in to see an allergy specialist on short notice.

the upside of ringworm is that it's (generally) easier to treat than hives, the downside is it is very gross to think about and may cause me to come home and sterilize everything in the house, including the cats and dog.

itchy boat

2007-09-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

even since chemo, i have broken out in hives when the weather turns cold. hives that last all winter and drive me about up the wall.

i get them on my eyelids, the tops of my feet, all over my torso, on my knees and elbows, etc.

it ain't pretty, that's for sure.

i've tried every OTC remedy out there, and Alavert seems to work the best.

but this season, when the hives cropped up a week or so ago, i started taking the Alavert and it's just not doing the job. i still itch. i'm still bumpy. and now i'm grumpy to boot.

so i did what i do when faced with any ailment and went online looking for more info. i have been self-diagnosed with Cold Urticaria .

i have also emailed my oncologist to see if it is in fact chemo related, and if so, what the hell i'm supposed to do about it other than "live with it," as is often the case when post-chemo fallout occurs.

although i'm sure there's no magic pill to fix it, it would be nice to know it's not a reflection on some underlying condition, and that there are others in the same boat as me.

the itchy boat.

progress

2007-09-21T11:25:00.000-07:00

over the last couple of weeks, i have done pretty much anything and everything to avoid working, including walking greta twice per day, whether she likes it or not; cleaning out every closet in the house, resulting in nine bags of clothes and two bags of shoes taken to weave; moving furniture around; going through all of my books and parting with some; cleansing our cd collection (bye bye justin timberlake, ashlee simpson, etc.!); brushing all three animals once per day; *trying* to brush greta's teeth once per day; and, of course, watching way too much tv and keeping the netflix stream of movies flowing in and out of the house.

i never used to procrastinate. in fact, i used to get everything finished waaaay ahead of time. lately, i've been working on not being so "all or nothing."

i am definitely a work in progress.

rain?

2007-09-20T07:36:00.000-07:00

seriously...rain?

i let greta out to do her business this morning at oh-dark-thirty, and she stepped out from under the covered porch and then looked back at me like "you have got to be kidding me." it being dark, i had no idea she was protesting the drizzle coming down.

this has been an ongoing issue from the get go. i know greyhounds are by no means water dogs, but greta seems to think she's made of sugar and will melt into a sticky sweet puddle if she gets wet.

it's going to be a loooong winter.

newest obsession

2007-09-17T13:39:00.000-07:00

in my internet wanderings, i have recently stumbled across someone who i wish i had found years ago when i was trying to adjust to life with one breast.

of course, in looking at the timeline, i think we were going through similar experiences at about the same time (correct me if i'm wrong), so it might have been a case of the blind leading the blind.

in any event, as is often the case with me (please, keep your secret to yourself!), i found her too little too late for our big cross-country trip last fall.

and maybe it's lucky for her, because had i known about her, i would have dragged mike to brooklyn to meet her and admire her work, in my all-or-nothing stalker-esque style.

instead, i have initiated chatter, purchased two boob-free tops and two necklaces, with the intention of giving one of the necklaces to sally when we visit her and our friends in san diego in november and celebrate my five clean years (knock on wood!) and her year and a half (knock, knock, knock...).

all of this worry about the jinx (which, by the way, is a great name for a cat and will definitely be my next, i'm sure) reminds me of one of the first "real" cancer books i read and identified with--it takes a worried man, by brendan halpin.

somewhere in the book, he talks about how he and his wife wonder if her cancer is "payback" for all the shit they've talked about people in the past.

i used to belive in karma, but no more.

to this day, whenever someone says "what goes around comes around" i want to throttle them. i'd like to know what the hell i did to "deserve" cancer.

was i really all that bad?!

no excuses

2007-07-24T13:27:00.000-07:00

i did not die. i have not been ill. i have not been MIA.

well, here i have, but not in 3-d life.

i have simply been lazy. too lazy to write here, where i already write here and here almost every day.

maybe when it's cold out and i have less daylight in which to play i will be back to post here.

until then, follow me here & here--if you love tv, music, movies, etc., you won't be disappointed!

damn

2007-04-27T09:49:00.000-07:00

time flies. it's been two months, and since then greta turned two and i turned 36. finally came to a mutually-beneficial decision to stop writing rcp, which was quite literally sucking the creativity out of me anyway. got a potential blog offer that was gone before it even happened. went to capitola overnight (and left greta behind--she was fine. me, not so much). finished many books that i can't remember right now. am now obsessed with the two i'm reading currently. have watched way too many movies, both good and bad. and tv shows. again both good and bad. but mostly just enjoyed everyday life.

woo hoo

2007-02-26T11:49:00.000-08:00

taxes are done and we're getting money back! of course, we've already spent it on house projects, but still--new interior doors will be nice.

v-day eve

2007-02-13T16:17:00.000-08:00

this will be my 13th valentine's day with mike, and considering our less than traditional beginnings, i'm so glad we hit the 13-year mark. longest relationship i've ever had, except for family (and that's not by choice).

i have also recently reconnected with a few fellow high school survivors, which i'm very happy about. one in particular seems to be the start of a rekindled friendship. yay!

popular opinion

2007-02-06T12:04:00.000-08:00

before resigning as a dvd reviewer at dvdtalk.com, i sent an email to the owner stating (in part) the following:

"Somewhere along the way on DVD Talk, it think the purpose of reviews got lost, as they are opinion and therefore subjective. Well, I always knew I wasn’t a follower, and this proved it! I tend to be the opposite of mainstream, but I don’t think that’s what your readers want to hear."

to me, a review is an opinion. if people are basing everyday decisions, including what to eat, watch and listen to, based soley on other people's opinions, i say GET A LIFE!

10 oz. + two spoonfuls = YUM!

2007-02-01T13:20:00.000-08:00

the. best. stuff. evah!

so much for the diet, though, as i can hardly limit myself to one cup a day, now can i?

how to lose 5+ lbs in 48 hours

2007-01-23T09:30:00.000-08:00

eat oatmeal with a grapefruit and soy latte for breakfast. three hours later, commence projectile vomiting. repeat every four hours. finally realize it has nothing to do with what was consumed, but is in fact the "stomach flu." hope it lasts 24 hours. after 36 hours, try two spoonfuls of broth and a handful of oyster crackers. throw up hours later. wait 12 more hours, then try a can of chicken noodle soup for breakfast. throw that up. realize the "stomach flu" can last up to 72 hours. cry...

apparently, i have a lot to learn

2007-01-16T09:15:00.000-08:00

i just started working for this site (dvdtalk.com) and have thus far contributed two movie reviews.

the first, for the guardian, can be found here:
http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/read.php?ID=26066

the second, for open cam, is here:
http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/read.php?ID=26078

while i was much more concerned with the backlash the second review might procure, it seems that in the A/V world, which i know bumpkus about, the first review is stirring up all kinds of discontent.

all to be taken with a grain of salt.

up next, two more "gay" films, and one movie i've never heard of. i think i just might have to dust off my old "fag hag" moniker, as apparently i have been labeled the straight, married, female gay movie reviewer on the site. but as i say, whatever floats your boat works for me!

crapity crap

2007-01-08T12:13:00.000-08:00

this year has started off with a fizzle.

i was sick on january 1.

now my car is effed up and i have to take it in tomorrow morning, which i dread with the same pit in my stomach as getting taxes done.

it seems in both cases there are always unwelcome surprises along the lines of "bend over and let me stick this huge pole up your you-know-what while you have to sit there and take it" then pay lots of money for the unpleasant encounter.

not to mention the fact that it's freezing degrees outside and too cold to walk greta, so she's acting like a brat and making work impossible.

top it all off with three client interviews today, mix well and scream.

realistic resolutions

2007-01-01T09:59:00.000-08:00

lose some pounds
work out faster
update blog regularly
stretch out more
buy new clothes only when i lose some weight
take a vacation
finish something around the house
call dad regularly
have more patience with greta

resolutions

2006-12-31T13:32:00.000-08:00

in no particular order:

lose 20 pounds
work out smarter
write for fun, not just for profit
get my left hip to pop at dr. mags
curb spending habits
cruise to mexico
finish house projects
see dad more
train greta

i'm so not country

2006-11-16T09:13:00.000-08:00

but i so love the dixie chicks, who rocked arco arena on tuesday night.

my first solo concert, and i have to say i had a great time. mike dropped me off and picked me up, and i got to see my boy bob schneider, too.

all in all, a very fun, very late night.

baby leo

2006-11-08T07:57:00.000-08:00

one of my good friends just had her second baby last week. she's doing well, he's doing well. i get to meet him tomorrow, and plan to take a pic, but in the meantime, check this out.

i am so there!

2006-11-01T10:54:00.000-08:00

and you should be too...
http://www.ewebtvworld.com/

the mother ship

2006-10-31T09:56:00.000-08:00

is calling me. i'm going to get paid to blog about...wait for it...TV! wheee...i'll post a link when i get all the details. and hopefully my loyal reader(s) will follow me over there too.

new column

2006-10-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

while i don't usually tout my own work, my new column is out and sums up our trip rather nicely:

http://www.insidepublications.com/pdf_stories/06-10/Go%20Your%20Own%20Way%201006.pdf

well, that's not about our trip, as they have yet to post november's stuff, but it does sum up my fellings for the majority of dog owners out there.

and in the meantime, here's some trip info that didn't make the story:

Our trip was amazing. Amazing in that we packed so much into so little time.
Among the highlights:

mike being stopped by a highway patrolman in Nevada ON OUR FIRST DAY in the "most expensive county in Nevada" and when asked why he though he was stopped, him saying, "um, excessive speed?" very politely

driving through an almost-tornado storm in nebraska—we couldn’t figure out why cars were stopped under every highway overpass

hearing lincoln’s city-wide tornado alarm going off that night during the huge storm

driving through the hood in Chicago looking for a bathroom because I desperately had to go to the bathroom and the highway was gridlocked

saw flight 93 crash site and memorial, realized shankesville is a teeny, tiny town

saw every monument and memorial in D.C., walked miles and miles in high humidity—no bueno

met a client I’ve been working with for years now only via email—finally put a face to a name

the cat living at the b&b in Chelsea (NYC) that I snuck in our room every night

tour of ground zero

talking to machine-gun toting nypd officer on wall street

talked to jon voigt in central park

reunited with high school friend now living in boston

the overnight train ride from nyc to Chicago (memorable, but not in a good way)

catching a baseball game at wrigley field

all the people we met on the train ride home, including two 90-plus-year-old men whose now-deceased wives had been best friends

came and went

2006-10-13T13:54:00.000-07:00

my end-of-cancer-treatment came and went (oct. 8). four years since hell ended.

i was going to title this entry come and go, not to be confused with kum and go, which is a gas station chain we saw a lot of on our trip. and yes, that's exactly how it's spelled. seriously. that copywriter should be fired.

oh my

2006-10-10T07:52:00.000-07:00

time has certainly flown since my last post. vaca is over. much fun but much exhaustion, too. and i'm finally over my complimentary cold from amtrak. and we got greta on saturday, so i've been busy with her. she's VERY much a puppy, so it's night and day from macy. but she's a sweetie and we're already so in love with her.

here's a group photo of the cats checking out their new sister. flynn is torn between cleaning his butt and staring at greta...

no time

2006-09-12T13:01:00.000-07:00

to post, but wanted to share that this is our new girl, greta. can't wait to meet her in person!

busy bee

2006-08-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

i'm sorry i've been so busy i haven't had time to blog. what have i been doing, you ask? planning a monster of a cross-country trip, buying dog paraphernalia for our soon-to-be greyhound, working my ass off to get ahead for the trip, dog sitting, rinse, repeat.

we've had macy since thursday afternoon, so at least we had a legitimate reason to be at the dog park last night. and when we were leaving, there was a guy walking down the driveway smoking and holding a toy that some of the dogs had been playing with in the park, and he was sans dog. i said to mike, "that guy was in the park and he didn't even have a dog with him!" and then mike looked at me and i realized how stupid i sounded, being that we've been to the park without a dog more than with lately.

i also had a small panic attack this weekend when i realized our trip was looming on the horizon. as mike noted, it's only natural that i will be anxious about leaving home, since i'm here at least 20 hours a day. it's my comfort zone. after all, nobody likes change.

gorilla in the hallway

2006-08-16T10:24:00.000-07:00

this is why we've taken to calling moxie "gorilla" in recent years.

productivity

2006-08-15T12:00:00.000-07:00

a combination of the spring/fall-like weather we're having and the fact that i'm the project manager of our new hvac install has caused me to crack up the work flow today. i've already finished two rough drafts of articles and i'm on to sifting through the research for a third. although i could easily sit in in front of the tv, either in the living room or bedroom, and veg out, i decided that since there are people hard at work at my house today, i may as well be one of them! not to say that i don't work hard, but i certainly don't work hard all day. more like half a day, max. but today and tomorrow, i will be putting in my eight hours like the rest of the world, and maybe, just maybe i will be work-ready for our trip.

karma 101

2006-08-12T14:12:00.000-07:00

i have always been an animal lover. since as far back as i can remember, i've been around cats. and just like matthew sweet's song says, i do believe that dog people hate cats and cat people love all animals.

so as an avid animal lover, i am always noticing loose dogs out and about and trying to reunite them with their (unappreciative, bad) owners whenever possible. i figure it's not the dog's fault their owner is stupid and irresponsible.

now that we're facing impending dog-to-be status, i've been worried about the off chance that our speed demon might slip away from us, say when mike open the door and his guard is down, or when the dog that has never darted out before suddenly gets the urge to run or something.

as a cancer survivor, i don't like to believe in karma (if there is karma, then my having had cancer should mean we're winning the lottery tonight, right?). i don't think i was that bad of a person for 30 years to "deserve" the karma of cancer. but if the big "k" does exist, i hope that all my previous doggie rescues add up so that if for some horrific moment our dog does escape, she's rescued by another animal lover and brought back to me safe and sound.

and to get my dog fix once more, i'll be heading to the dog park tomorrow night to see some greyhounds in action. i feel like such a dogophile (the canine equivalent of a pedophile) skulking around the dog park without a dog in tow. i'm sure it won't be long before i'm being referred to as the "crazy non-dog lady".

inquiring minds want to know

2006-08-09T13:03:00.000-07:00

so i know it's no p.c. to talk about money amongst friends, but i need to know. do most people have a running $1k balance in their checkbook (bank account) from month to month? is this normal (and something i was not aware of)? sure, in a perfect world that would be great, but we all know the world we live in is a far cry from perfect.

best b-day weekend

2006-08-08T13:28:00.000-07:00

esp since it wasn't mine. had the most delicious sea bass at 4th street. sat am went to davis market with tania, z and macy, then a party at jean's house with the fam saturday night that was only slightly awkward.
sunday was the crate meet, where we oohed and ahhed over zelda and bandit, then we hiked to the highest point on angel island. this was our view as we feasted on bread, cheese and grapes before run/walking back down. then we hit the dog park sunday evening to meet other grey owners and their dogs, including loveable siggy and dancer.
monday am was caf baf for breakfast and then chores and hanging out the rest of the day. in all, it was grand.

o.k.--i get the point

2006-08-02T14:24:00.000-07:00

yesterday was a dog day of summer for me. literally.

on the way to target, i stopped at the end of our street to save a dog in the middle of the street. even went so far as to nose around in someone's backyard/garage until they finally woke up and i was able to get the dog back where it belonged.

then, as i was leaving target, there was a homeless man in the lot with his two dogs, and i gave him some $$ (i figured i was returning something, and the money was already spent, so why not?).

all of this was on the way to my chiropractor's office. when i got there i was greeted by her new puppy, nacho, who was so adorable i wanted to stay there all day and play with him.

then, last night on the way home from a tower tuesday with katie, we saw another stray dog and were able to reunite it with its owner.

thanks, universe. i got the message loud and clear!

progress

2006-07-26T08:31:00.000-07:00

as it stands right now, we're getting a dog from the September run, and she will be fostered until we get back from our trip. we're also narrowed down the name list to the top two: greta and hazel. since the racing names are usually something dumb like "eddie's lucky girl for three years" or some crap like that, the odds of us renaming her are high.

on the work front, i just got another client, who will be paying me to blog about labor laws, which isn't as intimidating as it sounds. and my work experience at the calif chamber of commerce will come in handy, too. it's steady and decent pay and rounds out my client list well. ironically, i'm now making more than i did when i quit my job, which is also great, considering the fact that i'm still part time and don't have to deal with any employer/supervisor bullshit.

lastly, the heatwave has lost a bit of its edge today, and according to the news, it's supposed to drop into the 90s, and the 60s at night. thank goodness! it's so hot, flynn doesn't even want to eat anymore, and that never happens.

i'm melting

2006-07-17T14:22:00.000-07:00

can we please move to oregon now? after yesterday's familia blowup, the heat, the fact that i cried so much yesterday that i woke up dehydrated before throwing up (because it's so hot), and the fact that our a/c has been on since 8 a.m., i'm ready for a change. maybe we just need to get out of town for a day and cool off somewhere. maybe i need to not forget to take my anti-depressant for two days straight. or maybe i'm just ready for a change of scenery. all i know is that the only relief i'm getting is eating ice cubes, and if the power goes out this afternoon, more tears will not be far behind.

horses

2006-07-16T12:29:00.000-07:00

if i get an email from one more high horse rider today, i'm going to scream.

sunday, bloody sunday

2006-07-16T09:36:00.000-07:00

mike is cranky. i got a chastising email from an @sshole. i'm feeling fat and hot and tired. i'm spending (what mike seems to think is) too much money on workout clothes. in short, today sucks.

how i'm currently wasting my time

2006-07-14T12:53:00.000-07:00

one of my good friends swears by craigslist. i mean, i think she would buy a house through craigslist if her husband would let her. and so i've been poking around, and i stumbled onto this. i first found it while i was on the phone with kaiser trying to get in to see my dermatologist for a suspicious mole on my back, thanks to dooce and her latest adventures. and while i was waiting on hold, i started reading the best of, and it wasn't long before i was laughing so hard i could barely breathe. and tears were coming to my eyes. and after staying up until midnight last night because the bed was so lonely (while the hubby's away, the wife sleeps like la poo), i think this is about all i can handle today. oh, and i hope my mole is nothing serious, because kaiser can't get me in until the end of august.

it's too effing hot

2006-07-09T14:26:00.000-07:00

and if it has to be this hot, why can't i melt away some of the extra padding i'm carrying around?

it's too hot to do the laundry that's piling up. too hot to run the dishwasher. too hot to think/read/sleep. the only thing i can do is watch tv and play solitaire.

why oh why were we not on the ball and shopping for a new h/ac during the spring instead of in the dead of summer? now all the places are wait-listing for six weeks, and mike still hasn't made up his mind who we're going with. just one more quote and then maybe he'll be able to pull the trigger.

granted, it's a good thing we didn't impulsively go with the first guy, because he lied to us about stuff like pulling the permit. nonetheless, the jump from 8k to 12k was quite shocking, so i think mike needs to see if the second guy is high end or average.

i just want a new system that's cold and quiet. is that too much to ask for?

embrace your past

2006-07-08T11:53:00.000-07:00

"i don't understand people who hide from their past. everything you live through helps make you the person you are now." ~ sophia loren

why i rule the remote

2006-07-07T14:48:00.000-07:00

so mike spent his last day of vacation watching the most god-awful crap on tv. seriously. a hot dog eating contest on espn 2, followed by the world's worst police chases on spike tv. what is up with that? and he just doesn't get why i've been rewatching season one of veronica mars and lost, or why now that we is showing repeats of felicity for the bazillionth time, i still watch them. now THAT'S good tv!

mike is leaving for an overnight work thingy next week, and i've planned to dognap macy again for a few days to coincide with his leaving. it'll be a girls' night, and i guess since flynn has had his penis removed, he's sort of a girl. he is a princess, that's for sure. but between him and moxie and a lost night with storygoil, it should be fun.

halfway through

2006-07-03T13:14:00.000-07:00

mike has been home since friday, and he doesn't go back to work until thurs this week. six days off all in a row, and we've packed them full of stuff: breakfast at caf baf, a massage (me), shopping at fleet feet and the mall for our trip, dinner at centro, the gym (three times so far), grocery shopping, visiting greyhounds, moving our new-to-us oversized chair in, santa rosa to see more greys, dinner at paragary's, staples to replenish my supplies, tires rotated on the car, and we're barbecuing tonight. tomorrow we're hitting target after the gym, and going for a swim in the afternoon. and wed mike's donating blood and we're both seeing dr. mags in the afternoon. whew!

i almost blew a deadline yesterday. during dinner out i remembered i owed rob a story. luckily, he's my bro-in-law, so if i had forgotten, it wouldn't have been the end of the world. and i had already completed the writing/editing, i just had to go back and incorporate the changes. but still, so unlike me to forget like that! i blame all the good food i've been eating during this stay-at-home mini vacation.