graduation

after seeing my oncologist today, i graduated to only twice-yearly appointments, which is kind of freaking me out. i feel like my safety net has been yanked and i'm walking the survivor tightrope all by my lonesome. of course, he said i can always see him whenever i feel the need, but still. after three years, you'd think i'd be thrilled at this, but i'm just nervous as hell. next tuesday is the four-year anniversary of when i first found my lump, the 18th is the anniversary of my first mammogram, the 20th is the anniversary of my biopsy, and the 26th is the anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. fa la la la la, la la la la. sheesh!