death and dying

i guess that's pretty morbid, but that's what's on my mind. our neighbor across the street has been put on hospice, and my friend starts chemo tomorrow. cancer's all around me. was it always? how did i never notice it before three years ago? before i had cancer, it seemed so remote. sure, i knew a few people who died of cancer, but it didn't seem as prevalent as it does now. i've been watching lance and it amazes me how strong he came back. his doctors now say he has only a one percent chance of the cancer coming back. while i don't put much stock in percentages, that's pretty incredible considering he was near death at one point. i'm nearing my three-year anniversary of my last chemo treatment. three years ago at this time, i was at my lowest point. it may sound trite, but unless you've been through chemo, you just don't get it. it's the most awful thing you can go through, not just physically, but psychologically. and on top of that, i was dealing with my asshole employers at that time, which made it all the worse. what's funny is that for those who knew what was going on with my work at the time, they'd always say stuff like, "oh, they'll get theirs. karma is a bitch." which always made me wonder what they thought i must have done karmically to get cancer.