in other news...

our living room dvr died--the one with all the good shows i was stockpiling due to the writer's strike. also the one with all the weeds on it. damn technology.

the (high) cost of living

this is where i rant and rave about how much we've been spending and how little money is coming in...

first, moxie had to go to the vet a couple of weeks ago for an unscheduled emergency (an oxymoron, i know). that cost $150 that we weren't expecting, with a follow-up appointment this week that will probably be at least $50.

then, two days ago (saturday), we had to have a plumber come out to fix a mysterious clog (he blamed a diaper?!?! uh, sorry dude, not likely--although the previous owners did have a baby, so who knows?). that cost $300, that, again, we weren't expecting.

good thing i already bought our x-mas gift to each other (the whole friends series on dvd!) or else we probably would have been practical and decided to forgo gifts altogether this year.

as it is, that's the only thing we're buying, and there will be no gifts for friends, family, hairdressers, massage therapists, etc., this year.

this is me on drugs

i started the prozac immediately upon arrival in my hot(flash), sweaty little hands on friday afternoon.

i know they're not supposed to kick in for weeks, but i swear i already feel better.

of course, that could also have to do with the fact that last week was the week from hell, in which all things went south and chaos was the norm, and this week, in comparison, is full of lull, but whatever.

i feel better, and that's what matters.

of course, all the drugs in the worold won't help me on thursday.

i'm going on record--i don't like holidays. well, the holidays are fine, but it's the long, drawn-out days full of chit chat that i don't much care for.

since we never did have a baby, which would give me that built-in "he/she needs to go home and take a nap" excuse to flee, i use greta. as in "she's been in her crate for two hours and i need to go home and let her out."

which is true, but also works to get me out of those long, drawn-out family holiday feasts.

then i come home to hungry animals demaning to be fed, walked, played with and whatever else they've decided they need at the moment.

so maybe it's not being alone that i crave, but rather not having to answer a bunch of questions and make small talk.

either way, and no matter when i leave, mike gets home hours later. and i'm always glad i left when i did, because i'm snug in bed with two warm cats and a sleeping dog nearby, reading and watching tv and dozing, which really is the perfect way to spend a holiday!

when it rains...

yesterday was hectic and exhausting.

dentist in the a.m., followed by vet appt. for greta to get tested for heartworm (which she doesn't have, thank god!), then work, work, work (two new clients this week--it's either feast or famine, and i'm currently feasting!), then the gym in the afternoon, followed by the delivery of our new high-efficient washing machine, which is so beautiful it makes me wish our laundry was in the house and not the garage (although if it was in the hosue we would have had severe damage from the water leakage, so it's really much better where it is).

today, moxie started with a pee pee dance in and out of the cat box. we simply can not afford an emergency visit to the vet, so she's patiently waiting until 9 am for her appt. and in the meantime, i woke up, dealt with her, then started up the computer and, of course, comcast was down. so i called them. they couldn't fix it via phone (they never can) so they set up an appt. for me for later this morning. then it came up and now it's working fine. but i'm keeping the appt. because this keeps happening periodically and it's DRIVING ME CRAZY.

next year, my goal is to get away from comcast--for internet and cable tv, because they both suck. but right now, i've got too much going on and not enough time to handle what i've got. we're so broke i can't even afford to go see a therapist to deal with my probs, which are mounting.

luckily, prozac is on the way (from my doc), which should help--i hope!!! between my menopausal hot flashes and mood swings, i'm about ready to explode.

sleep

i wish
i could sleep
like my dog

she yips
and yowls
barks
and growls

she dances
and prances
runs
and plays

always waking
refreshed
ready
for the day

things that happen when you go off your meds

our vacation was terrible. awful, even. let's just say one cranky husband + his mother does not make for a fabulous, relaxing trip.

since we've been back, i've been cranking out work to meet two deadlines for NEW clients. fingers crossed that they will turn into regulars, as i have been writing about animals (greta in particluar) and LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

but the past two days have been bad. like, i need my anti-depressants back back--hives be damned.

first of all, i had another six-month oncology appt. in which i learned what i already knew. i have been gaining weight. 20 pounds in two years, to be exact. i can blame menopause and anti-depressants only so much for that, the rest has to do with injuries, laziness and i-feel-bad-about-myself eating.

then, when discussing my appt. with my husband and mentioning my weight gain, he asked how much i weigh.

i try not to lie to him, being that he's my best friend and lover, blah, blah, blah, so i told him.

his reaction--"wow!" followed by my face falling while he tried to hide a smile. it was so bad i started to cry, although admittedly these days i can cry at the drop of a hat.

and today was the capper.

a few weeks ago he broke part of my office chair (one of the arms). he "fixed' it with glue, and it was holding ok.

today he broke it completely. like, exploding chair, back of the chair dangling off broke it. then he announced that "we" need to call the company that makes the chair and "we" need to get a replacement part.

frankly, i'd rather buy a new one, but "we" can't afford to right now.

but that's beside the point, because HE broke my chair, and he should be the one to fix it, replace a part, call a company, whatever.

right?