office space

i don't know why i'm so crabby today, but i am. has nothing to do with the good, mellow weekend that just ended. might have to do with the fact that i stayed up too late watching the season finale of the l word, which left far too many storylines hanging. or maybe it's because it's supposed to rain again this week, and i'm ready for summer. either way, i'm grumpy and cranky and don't feel much like working. but i have a few things to do, so i must. i guess i just have a case of the mondays.

why i'm hard of hearing

although i'm by no means legally deaf, i am hard of hearing and last night was a good example of why. mike and i went to the memorial auditorium to see death cab (middle performer between two loud, annoying bands) and it was so loud, as mike said, "I could feel the bass in my chest." and not in a good way. even death cab, whom i adore, was heavy on the bass and light on the vocals. yuck. good thing we had our earplugs. never leave home without them these days. but nothing makes you feel old quite like a teeny-bopper concert in which as soon as the first note plays you're frantically diggng for your earplugs while everyone else is rocking out. ah, youth.

facing the past

my sister and I are communicating after 10 years of not talking. I’m not sure how I feel about it, and I’m taking it very slow so as not to get burned (again). The short story is that my mother was abusive and my sister (six years older than I am) got the brunt of it. When my parents divorced in ’76, my dad got custody of us, which was highly unusual at that time (and a testament to how bad my mother was).

My sister was wild and ended up doing drugs, spending time in jail, selling drugs, prostituting herself, etc. at one point, she was pulled over and didn’t have her license and passed herself off as me because she had so many outstanding warrants. Luckily, I was working in Tahoe at the time and was able to prove it wasn’t me, but that’s another story…

During all that time, we didn’t speak to our mother and only reconnected with her when I was in high school. I was always cautious, because my mother was/is the type of person that influences you without your being aware of it.

My sister had her first baby when I was a junior in high school and left him with us for a month while she disappeared, then came back and lived in her car for a while. All the while, she was close with my mother.

I, on the other hand, grew tired of my mother’s manipulations and told her off soon after I graduated high school. Then after a couple of years, I gave her a second chance. We saw each other for the next few years, and during that time my sister had two more kids (different father than the first) and married the father of those two. I met Mike during that time as well.

Then my mother pulled another stunt that was the last straw for me, and my sister was also involved in the events, which led me to cut them both out of my life.

Currently, my sister is not speaking to our mother (not sure how long that will last). And that’s the only way I can let her back in my life, because I will not let my mother poison me (emotionally) ever again.

So for now, my sister and I have exchanged a few emails and photos. I’m protecting myself, so I guess only time will tell…

spring cleaning

this past weekend i let go of my old size-o, 2, 4 and 6 bod(ies) and came face to face with the fact that, as my gyno so lovingly puts it, i've put on weight like a man (on the stomach, with some butt and leg action as well). i guess it's a good thing i got rid of my belly button ring a few years ago, because it wouldn't be quite so cute on my pale flabby belly these days. but back to my realization, which was that i'm never going to fit into all my cute tiny clothes anymore, so i scoured my closets and got rid of tons of clothes. i now have a trunk full of goodies to take to weave. mike was horrified at all the stuff i was getting rid of, until i got to the bottom of his fear--that i was going to go shopping to replace everything. nope. although i did buy two tank tops and two swim suits at target this morning. the swim suits were necessities for my summer in the pool, but the tanks, well, they were for ny. we also discussed the tattoo i plan to get next year for my five-year survivor status (the chinese symbols for "survivor" on the nape of my neck). while on our beautiful saturday morning 5 1/2-mile walk, mike and i realized that at my skinniest (105 pounds seven years ago) i was miserable, and that's why i was skinny. i guess i'm one of those people who, when happy, get fat. well, that plus the menopause, which certainly does not help one bit. wait until my female friends discover how sucky menopause is.

frick a frack

i just typed up a long, profound post and went to spell check it and somehow lost the whole thing. i'm not at all sure i like this blogger...

faux-mode

so i wrote a story for wholesale source yesterday about pirate products (no, not eye patches and whatnot, but faux lv bags and kate spades, etc.) and it got me even more excited about going to ny. i doubt i will buy any of the faux stuff, but who knows. if i see something i really really like and just have to have, is it so bad if it's a knock off and will fall apart before the year is out? not if it costs $10 it isn't! i still love my target fuggs (what i call my fake ugg boots). love them. and they've lasted two years. i even took them to mendocino and wore them outside to and fro the bathroom in the bad weather, and they held up great. and i still, to this day, get tons of compliments on my many fake kate spade bags and my big tod bag. yes, the threads are starting to fray, but who gives a rat's ass? they're still plenty cute. i'm fine with the fakes as long as i know going in what i'm getting. katie was telling me she got some seven jeans on ebay and that you can buy all kinds of high-end designer jeans for way less that way. but i'm leery, because i'd hate to think i'm getting the real thing and find out later it's faux. i like to be in the driver's seat, thank you very much!

food

tomorrow night is date night, and i get to pick the place because last week i got skunked twice. friday we went to aioli for date night, and i thought i'd be fine with the regular paella (sp?), but it was so gross with all the squid and clams and stuff that i barely ate. then saturday night we had a family function at vallejos, which was terrible. no vegetarian options and the place was loud and dirty. yuck. so tomorrow we're going to bali because that's me new fav place and has the best veggie lettuce cups that mike and i fight over. just typing about them makes my mouth water!

seriously, what is up

am i completely incompetent or something? first of all, i had to take the photo software off my computer because my firewall was freaking out over it. now i can't figure out how to put links up. maybe i don't belong here. maybe i should go back to where i came from....

follow me

i'm out of here and on to http://writnkitten.blogspot.com/. see ya!

what the @#@!!!

i guess i'm going to have to have storygoil show me how to post pics and links here, as i can just barely figure out how to post words. but hey, i'm a quick learner!

the office

i'm home worked. much like those that are home schooled. and because i run my own show, i have no co-workers and no boss and pretty much do whatever i want whenever i want. which means i have lots of time on my hands. welcome to my world...

weird

my dad just called and put my sister on the phone--haven't spoken to her in about six years and really haven't communicated with her in 10 years. apparently my mother is going to try to contact me (i'm not holding my breath). my family is so fucked up.

whirlwind

we're back from san diego. too much fun in not enough time. went down friday late morning and took katie to real food daily (www.realfood.com) for dinner (YUM!) in west hollywood. then made it to san diego by midnight. took the kids to art class the next morning, then us girls got peddies and then we all went to dinner at sally's fav place. sunday we went to breakfast and then took the kids to the park so mike could help teach them to ride bikes. then watched the oscars that night. got up at 4am to come home. two minor cat issues while we were gone: flynn didn't eat the first night (highly unusual, as he is a feline eating machine) and mox kept puking and not eating. so i had to take her to the vet right when we got back. seriously, what is up with our high-maintenance cats? i fear for them while we're gone for three weeks this fall. and for our poor pet sitter, who will have to deal with all their issues.

spring has sprung!

after this last storm, i feel like spring is finally here. and of course our trip to so cal will only reinforce that feeling. mike has taken the past two days off, and although yesterday was packed with appointments and errands, today has been wide open and sunny. we enjoyed breakfast at fox & goose, and now he's out puttering in the yard while i get some work done. so i'd better get some work done!