fraud

apparently my credit card was stolen (not physically, but the number?) in the past few days, and the perpetrator has been making nominal paypal purchases. well, the first was nominal, but the two pending purchases--well, who knows? luckily, i caught it quickly and the investigation is underway. thank goodness for the fdic. and my anal retentiveness about balancing the check book on a daily basis.

even keel

things have settled down lately, and i'm thankful for the lull.

a small, steady stream of work is flowing, and that has helped keep me (not too) busy.

the noticable change in greta, no longer quite the pup she was, is nice, too. we take long walks, weather and knee pain (mine) permitting, and although she is very bonded to me, she manages to sleep on the couch for hours while i "work" (surf the net, watch tv & movies, etc.).

mike has also improved (i do believe the meltdown a while ago was an anomoly, but if not, we will be headed for therapy, believe you me).

no more stress about money (no, we're not making any more than before, but the pressure is off to make! make! make! more! more! more!). in fact, he's swung in the other direction, and since we have a cushion in our bank account right now, he wants to spend! spend! spend!

i just shake my head...

i stopped here this morning after a hot drink with storygoil here, and there are three perfect little cupcakes waiting to be gobbled up later--vanilla/vanilla, red velvet and carrot. two of them are for mike--maybe.

couch potato

why are there some movies, not necessarily good ones, that cause me to sit down and rewatch, no matter how many times i've seen them before? why?

the skeleton key
the replacements (keanu--'nuf said!)
dawn of the dead (the remake)
never been kissed
the grudge
wolf creek
the hills have eyes (the remake)
plus, basically any other scary film (crappy or otherwise) that i've seen before

is it just me?

the evolution of a freelance writer

while i could take time to gloat over the fact that i won my small claims court case, i still have to collect the money, so instead i've been thinking lately about all the jobs/careers i have had.

babysitter
retail sales
video store clerk
vet receptionist
house cleaner
ortho receptionist
camp counselor
library assistant
restaurant cashier
camp counselor
day care worker
restaurant cashier/bar server
insurance transcriber
ski lift operator
restaurant server
bank teller
accounting assistant
marketing assistant
copywriter
marketing manager
communications specialist
writer/researcher
freelance writer

that list wouldn't be so bad, except that most of those jobs were in a 10-year period. i put the hop in job hopper.

the day to day struggle

the ebb and flow of work is always on my mind these days.

i just got a gig here giving advice to teens, which will put my psychology degree to good use (finally!). that's not to say that particular degree doesn't come in handy many times--pretty much every damn day--but still. i'm also going to be writing about etiquette for a new start-up mag, which will hopefully do very well, but will at the very least give me a forum to be my usual sarcastic self.

neither one pays very much, but there flip side is that both jobs require more of "me" than any of my other writing. i can be myself. and that is, of course, priceless!

per usual, it's two small steps forward and one giant step back around here.

greta threw up yesterday morning, then ate barely anything for the rest of the day. the poor thing's stomach was rumbling and growling so much last night that both mike and i could not sleep. and this morning, she had no interest in food. so, of to the vet we went. $250 later, she seems to be fine, just a bout of upset tummy. which is good, because it could always be much, much worse.

alas, the credit card bill keeps racking up, and the money only trickles in slowly.

he must have resolved to mellow out

last night, after taking greta outside to pee, a trip that entailed my bundling myself and her up to protect against what i think is the coldest winter in the history of sacramento, and certainly the coldest winter i've had here, i neglected to wipe her feet before she hit the carpet. which left little wet footprints everywhere.

instead of his usual overreacting to it, mike was really nice and said, "that's ok. you're doing a really good job with her."

either he sensed that one more overreaction from him would send me into a tizzy from which i would not recover, or he finally realized that it's just a freaking carpet and it can, in fact, be cleaned. and if it's stained, so the fuck what? it's carpet. it's not the end of the world.

either way, i'm glad he's seeing the bigger picture. because i was beginning to think i married that guy in sleeping with the enemy. and we all know how that turned out.

new

clean slate

this year:
only do what i can do
don't worry about what i can't control
be present in the moment
laugh

goals:
learn who i am and accept it/me
ask for help when needed
let go of the past

resolutions:
read more
clean greta's teeth every day
stop paying for what i can do myself